Part of me misses those early days, only because everyone was pre-screened in some form or another; only the most intelligent, tech-savvy and resourceful folks found themselves online at that point.
Now, anyone can drunkenly dare their friends to put up a profile, and many do.
My online dating fears
You can literally smile, say hello, start a conversation, and if they reply with any measure of interest, you can confidently say, "I'd love to meet you for coffee,"or whatever other first date activity you enjoy.
Now, there's one other very important point I want to make sure I cover:your attitude.
If you walk into online dating thinking everyone's a loser, then that's what you'll find.
Many of us who have met a few folks online will speak to this: it's a yucky experience to get to know someone, just to have them start the in-person interaction with something along the lines of, "What's wrong with you? " Another variation of this are the folks who refuse to put a picture up, or people who pick apart your profile with the finesse of a starving man. Instead, focus on what you want, ignore the rest, and prepare yourself to meet someone fantastic.
Jake asks, "Bonny, I get that you want me to try online dating to save time, and to meet people outside my social circle.
I just can't get it out of my head that online dating is for losers though, and that I'll meet someone awful. "I've paraphrased Jake's question, because he shared his concerns with me face-to-face, and because I get this question constantly.
So let's delve into the why's and wherefore's of this question, before I answer it as best I can.
Many singles are scared of a variety of things when putting themselves online: they'll get stalked, see someone they know, get matched up with a former partner, be outed for a belief, religion or way of being, lose privacy, and so forth.
All of these are valid points, and I've encountered each and every one personally and well as professionally.
If anything, I have a few added risks beyond the general population's; try telling someone that you met online you give dating advice for a living with a major media outlet, and see how they react. As statistics are a bit tricky to come by for some of these concerns, I will again go back to my own personal and professional experience to say they're rare.
Of the list, the one I encounter the most personally is getting recognized on the street from a dating profile, while with my clients and friends I hear of folks seeing people they know more often than not.