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That said, if you want to be attractive to the opposite sex, it makes sense to make an effort with your appearance.

You don’t need to be a clothes horse or a show pony but at the very least ensure you cover off the basics – hair groomed (no snowflakes), teeth brushed, breath sweet, not so much makeup or fake tan that you could be mistaken for an Ooompa Loompa or a clown, wear clothes that fit, and please don’t wear white socks with black shoes, white bra with black top, or socks and sandals.

I’m not talking happy clappy – I’m talking optimistic, inspiring, etc.

Personal negativity tends to draw in people that reflect the negative things that we believe about ourselves, love, and relationships.

Who I attracted and my relationships changed when I felt secure.

Now it wasn’t until I looked back at my chequered dating past that I recognised how hidden insecurities affected who I attracted and who I was attracted to.

It’s ideal to find a way to be secure and grounded.

Some people are very quick to attribute the word ‘needy’ even if it isn’t warranted, hence you are one step ahead if you can be secure even when you are single.

If you date out of a fear of being alone you are likely to attract dubious mates that exacerbate your insecurity.

People find secure people attractive because they realise that they are the icing on the cake in that person’s life as opposed to the cake, the main meal, the breakfast, the snacks, the everything.

When it comes to dating and relationships, ‘attraction’ can be a word that automatically let’s us off the hook from engaging our brain in any rational thinking.


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