Even if you married late and dated a lot before marriage, dating norms have changed.
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And it was very clear that it was too soon after his wife’s death for him to be in a relationship. As I continued to date, I found that I wasn’t always discerning enough and leapt into some relationships (stir fry mode) without really evaluating whether they had the potential to go the distance. I wanted to experience men, love, sex – everything (within reason).
But I started to learn a little about what I was looking for and truly enjoyed that excitement that came from flirting with a new man. It was part of my Auntie Mame “just live” philosophy of life. After all, I had already begun the 6th decade of life. There was no risk of pregnancy and, being careful, no risk of STDs.
Unlike some younger (and older) women, I wasn’t after and didn’t have any first date sexual encounters — but neither did things progress at a slow cooker pace. Z (see The 36 Questions), and realized that we should not in fact have sex or continue our relationship (even though we had already gone on a number of long dates).
Our lifestyles were just too different and I could not imagine a life with him.
So, lessons about relationships and love had to be – and still are – painfully (sometimes) learned.
I came to this “epiphany” as I realized that I could take in tons of advice but couldn’t really learn from and act on it until I had experienced a particular life lesson on my own.
The topic today is going slow in a new or potentially new relationship – from the perspective of an experiential learner.
Slow refers to sex, personal disclosure, and involvement.
Let’s have some spring vegetable stew while we’re chatting.