Be clear about what your intentions are, so that you are responsible in the way you date. Whatever age they are, they don’t need to watch dad “playing the field” and don’t need to be introduced to every date you have.
They are grieving too — the loss of their parents as a set.
I should have relationships and sex all figured out by now right? Now that is exposed, I want to tell you where I am now and seek some prayerful wisdom.
After all I am over half a century old with an adult son and a daughter in High School. Some advisers tell me that I need to wait until I am dead, well almost dead to start dating again.
However, what I thought I knew about life and marriage was completely upended a couple of years ago when my wife of 24 years at the time abandoned my daughter and me for an openly gay woman. I have already failed at that advice, because I am dating and I am enjoying dating.
They problem is that the sexual landscape for Christians has changed tremendously during my lifetime.
Even very Church oriented Christ centered Christians are having a hard time staying sexually pure.
This is even an order of magnitude greater in my opinion for divorcees my age.
At my age, I’ve witnessed a lot of marriage breakups and post-divorce dating. But every expert worth even a minute of your time will tell you that divorce is like amputation — you don’t just wake up the next day and feel good to go.
As intrigued by relationships as I am, I paid extra-close attention and drew some conclusions. Let’s start with the dating aspect of his question. You really do need time to grieve the loss of an important relationship in your life and to figure out who you are and who you want to be without this person in your life.
When I started writing my response to this man’s situation, I realized I had a to say. Because who and how you choose to date makes a big difference in staying pure. All too often, I’ve seen hurting people come out of a divorce and jump right into another relationship. You may want to find a support system, like a Divorce Care group, to process through your breakup. Your marriage was something that was supposed to last “until death do us part.” And it didn’t.
Even if that relationship lasts — and many don’t — it’s filled with baggage. You may need time with a Christian counselor, your pastor, or a mentor. Regardless of the circumstances of your divorce, you’re bound to have lingering emotional pain. Then invest in yourself — specifically restoring your sense of identity and fostering your relationship with God.
You need maybe 1-2 years on your own before you begin dating. For instance, I know a few people who lost a spouse in their 70s and within months remarried someone they’d known almost their whole lives. You’ve been one flesh with someone else for a while, and now you’re on your own.